Chinese culture puts emphasis on politeness and humbleness. This is especially so when you are with people whom you have met for the first time or the relationship is not a close one. If you want to be accepted as 自己人 [zì jǐ rén] or one of us in English, you must know how to say the correct Chinese polite words and when to say them.
Lost in translation
If you are new to Mandarin Chinese, you will feel lost when someone utter a Chinese expression or Chinese phrase that you have no concept about. A Chinese expression or Chinese phrase which is uniquely Chinese. You are totally lost in translation because it is somehow not translatable into English or any other languages.
Take for example, when you praise a Chinese friend about how beautiful his/her house is, he/she will say a polite Chinese expression or Chinese phrase like 哪里，哪里. If you are a beginner in Chinese, you will translate it as where, where? You might answer him/her as your living room is particularly beautiful, or your garden is beautiful etc. This is truly a lost in translation because the actual meaning of this polite Chinese expression is not where, but rather a humble reply to your praise.
The importance of politeness
The use of Chinese polite words or phrase plays an important part in your daily interactions with people, business or casual. It is an art or skill you need to master if you want to impress your Chinese business partners or Chinese friends. However, you need to be careful when using such polite Chinese expression or phrase. Too much will make people feel you are a hypocrite, and too few will make others think you are being rude.
Chinese polite words is used to express respect, gratitude and not patronizing the other parties. It is best to use on people whom you have met for the first time. As you have become closer, this kind of talk can be minimized to avoid the awkwardness.
Chinese polite words can be in the honorific form or the humble form. The Chinese expression 客套话 [Kè tào huà ] can be regarded as both Chinese honorific and humble words.
18 most common polite Chinese expressions you should know
If you have been living in China or any other Chinese speaking countries for a while, you will be very familiar with the Chinese polite words and phrases below.
Meeting for the first time
When you are attending a business party, seminar or unfamiliar places, you need to be polite in your language, especially introducing yourself to someone who is older or higher in social status than yo
请多指教 qǐng duō zhǐ jiào
When you are introducing yourself to someone whom you have never met or for the first time, the Chinese expression to use is 我是XX，请多指教。The English-Chinese translation literally means I am XX (name) please give me guidance and advice. A Chinese expression you should know to impress your Chinese business acquaintances.
我是彼得，请多指教 Wǒ shì bǐdé, qǐng duō zhǐ jiào I am Peter, please give me guidance and advise.
幸会幸会 xìng huì xìng huì
When expressing an honor to meet someone for the first time in Chinese, it is more polite to use the Chinese expression幸会幸会 [ Xìng huì xìng huì ]. You may also use the Chinese expression 很高兴认识您 [ Hěn gāoxìng rènshì nín].
久仰大名 jiǔ yǎng dà míng
This is not an honorific form of Chinese expression, but a polite form of greetings to someone whom you have not met. The English-Chinese translation means to look forward to meet such an esteemed person or name for a long time.
三生有幸 Sān shēng yǒu xìng
This polite Chinese expression is normally combined with 久仰大名 such as 久仰大名, 能认识您真是三生有幸. This Chinese expression means it is most fortunate, up to three lifetimes, for me to have met you after waiting for such a long time. Sounds very fake, but it is a culture we need to respect if we want to build a good working or business relationship.
久仰大名, 能认识您真是三生有幸 Jiǔ yǎng dàmíng, néng rèn shì nín zhēn shi sān shēng yǒu xìng
Asking about age
Chinese culture emphasizes a lot on respect and being polite to others. This is especially important when dealing with elders and with people you are meeting for the first time. When asking a person’s age, the Chinese expression or phrase to use is different.
贵庚 [ guì gēng ] / 芳龄 [ fāng líng ]/ 高寿 [gāo shòu]
贵庚 is a honorific form of age. When asking the age of a person you do not know well, you can ask 请问您贵庚？When asking the age of an elderly person, the Chinese polite phrase is 高寿. However, when you are enquiring the age of ladies, the polite form would be 芳龄.
请问您贵庚？ Qǐng wèn nín guì gēng? May I know your age?
Asking for forgiveness
请多多包涵 qǐng duō duō bāo han
This polite Chinese expression is very commonly use when a person makes a mistake or has caused trouble to others by his/her action. The Chinese phrase 包涵 in English means to obtain understanding or tolerance from others for the inconvenience caused. For example, 招待不周，请诸位多多包涵！This is a very common Chinese polite expression you will surely hear when attending Chinese parties or functions. The host of the party is saying something like please forgive me if the reception is unsatisfactory. This is a typical Chinese expression or phrase which is somewhat uncommon in the Western culture.
招待不周，请诸位多多包涵 Zhāo dài bù zhōu, qǐng zhū wèi duō duō bāo han
请别介意 Qǐng bié jiè yì
The Chinese expression you have heard many times when asking for forgiveness is 请原谅 [ Qǐng yuán liàng ]. 请别介意 is also a commonly used Chinese phrase when you make a mistake and seeking forgiveness from others. 介意[ jiè yì ] in English means to mind, to take to heart. Therefore, 请别介意 means please don’t take to heart and forgive what I have done.
谅解 liàng jiě
This is a common Chinese phrase but used to convey a polite sentiment. This Chinese expression has the meaning of seeking forgiveness and understanding. It is different from 原谅 [ yuán liàng ] which has the meaning of forgiveness only.
Home visiting
拜访 bài fǎng
When talking among close friends, we will normally use the Chinese phrase 到你家 [ dào nǐ jiā] or 到你那儿去 [ Dào nǐ nà’er qù ] when you want to pay him/her a visit. However, if you were to talk to your boss or someone who is not so close, the correct Chinese expression to use to show respect or politeness is to say 拜访.
到您家拜访 Dào nín jiā bài fǎng pay you a visit
我去拜访您 wǒ qù bài fǎng nín pay you a visit
慢用 / 慢慢吃 / 尝尝 màn yòng / màn man chī / cháng cháng
When the host serves something, he/she will not say 吃 [ chī ]or 吃看看 [chī kàn kàn] to you as it is regarded as impolite. He/she will normally say something more polite or respectful like 请慢用 or 请尝尝 or 慢慢吃.
笑纳 xiào nà
It is customary for one to bring a gift when visiting someone’s home. When presenting a gift to the host, the Chinese expression to show respect is to say 请笑纳 [qǐng xiào nà] instead of 请收下 [ qǐng shōu xià] . You can also say 这是一点小意思，请您笑纳 [zhè shì yī diǎn xiǎo yì si, qǐng nín xiào nà ] This is just a token of my appreciation, please accept it.
慢走 màn zǒu
This Chinese polite word is used when the guest is leaving. The Chinese word 慢 [ màn ] in English is slow and the Chinese word 走 [ zǒu ] is walk. The literal English translation means to walk slowly. The actual meaning of this Chinese phrase is to take care on your way home. It does not mean to walk slowly home.
留步 liú bù
When the guest is leaving, the host will normally want to see the guest off. However, the guest can decline this offer by saying 请留步，不必相送 [ qǐng liú bù, bù bì xiāng sòng ]. The casual form would be 不送 [ bù sòng ]，不用送 [ bù yòng sòng ] . The English translation for 留步 is to stay where you are. This is the English equivalent of don’t get up, I will show myself out.
Asking a favor or to trouble someone
拜托 bài tuō
Being polite has its advantage. When asking for a favor, it is better to ask of it politely. Don’t take for granted that people will automatically help you. The honorific form in Chinese for asking a favor is 拜托. This is a very common expression in the daily conversation. For example, when you need someone to help you do something, you can say 这件事就拜托您了 [Zhè jiàn shì jiù bài tuō nín le] 。
麻烦 má fan
This Chinese expression is not an honorific from of Chinese expression, but a common Chinese word that conveys a polite sentiment. Take for example, it is more polite to say 麻烦您帮我开门 [ má fan nín bāng wǒ kāi mén] , rather than just 帮我开门 [ bāng wǒ kāi mén] .
The English translation for 麻烦 here means to trouble somebody to do something. When someone opens the door for you, you are thanking him/her to take this trouble to do so. You are not taking them for granted just like the second sentence which is more straightforward. You will only use 帮我开门 to people whom you know very well.
打扰 dǎ rǎo
打扰 is a polite form of Chinese. It is used when you bother someone to do something or you bother them with a question. It is saying sorry in a more polite kind of way. For example, when you have interrupted someone, you may say 对不起，打扰您了 [ duì bù qǐ, dǎ rǎo nín le ] . If you want to ask someone a question, you can interrupt by saying 对不起，打扰一下，请问车站在哪里？[ duì bù qǐ, dǎ rǎo yī xià, qǐng wèn chē zhàn zài nǎ lǐ ] This Chinese expression is very useful when travelling to Chinese speaking countries. You need to be humble and polite when asking for help in a foreign country.
Appreciating one’s hard work
辛苦了 xīn kǔ le
The Chinese expression 辛苦了 is very commonly used in Japanese and Korean language as well. This expression is to acknowledge the hard work that one has put into the task or work. In Japanese, before someone leaves the office, he/she has to say 辛苦了(お疲れ様) to everyone in the office. In Korean, they also will say 辛苦了 when a task or work has finished.
It is very difficult to have an exact translation for this word in English as the Western culture does not have such concept. They would normally just thank you for the work done.
Thus, when someone say 辛苦了 to you after a day’s work, don’t interpret as the work must be hard for you. Just say 你也辛苦了.
Take one’s leave
失陪了 shī péi le
This is a polite form of Chinese expression when you need to leave a place and cannot continue to keep someone company. The English translation for 失 [ shī ] is to lose and 陪 [ péi ] is to accompany someone. Thus, 失陪 is to lose the opportunity to accompany someone. The common Chinese expression you may have heard using this Chinese phrase is 失陪一下, 我上洗手间 [ shī péi yī xià, wǒ shàng xǐ shǒu jiān ]. The English translation for this Chinese expression is please excuse me, I need to go to the restroom. If you are in a company of close friends, you can just simply say 我上厕所. But, if you are with clients, boss or people not close to you, it is better to say 失陪了.
The 18 honorific and humble expressions in Chinese shown above are just some of the many Chinese polite words used in daily conversations. Some Chinese expressions such as 久仰大名，三生有幸，幸会幸会 are normally used in formal occasions such as business meetings or gatherings.
How to use Chinese polite words the easy way
- Meeting for the first time, say 久仰 [ jiǔ yǎng ]
- Long time no see say 久违 [ jiǔ wéi ]
- Asking for advice say 指教 [ zhǐjiào ]
- Asking for forgiveness say 包涵 [bāo han ]
- Congratulating someone say 恭喜 [ gōng xǐ ]
- Asking for help say 劳驾 [ láo jià ]
- Asking for guidance say 赐教 [cì jiào ]
- Disturbing someone say 打扰 [ dǎ rǎo ]
- Welcoming your guest say 光临 [ guāng lín ]
- Take one’s leave say 失陪 [ shī péi ]
- I will show myself out say 留步 [ liú bù ]
- Waiting for your guest say 恭候 [ gōng hòu ]
- Returning something 奉还 [ fèng huán ]
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